Trust has been a very popular topic these days. Well, with the likes of Tiger Woods and his uber naughty gaggle of strippers and alleged baby mama's- one can't help but wonder, "what if?" But- what if your husband/boyfriend/partner is NO Tiger Woods? What if he's completely trustworthy, pro-monogamy, and his most notable stint at infamy lies somewhere between puberty and adolescence? The question of trust then...is perhaps not about someone else but instead- someone closer. Hmmm- I wonder who that could be?
dear modern malama,
I'm not sure why- but I can't seem to trust my boyfriend lately. He's given me no reason not to trust him but I'm really scared of getting hurt. How can I be more trusting? Signed, A suspicious mind
dearest a suspicious mind,
Well let me first say, my dear, that a suspicious mind is a terrible thing to waste! With the oil spill in the Gulf and Lindsay Lohan's jail sentence- I can't see why you'd bother fretting over a little thing like trust? Backstabbing, double crossing, and two timing is simply a fact of life. So for the sake of your own sanity- I advise you to accept that STAT, and move on to other things like grad school or finding a cure for cancer.
The truth about trust is that it starts within. Questioning someone else's intentions may not be the solution if perhaps, you're simply not aware of your own. So, maybe instead of giving that poor boyfriend of yours the old third degree- you begin by taking a little heat yourself and ask, "where the hell is this coming from?" Our tendencies to hold on to baggage of years, decades, and eons past eventually catches up with us. And instead of enjoying the blissful beginnings of a new romance or appreciating the enduring love of marriage- you're stuck between yourself and a hard place. And so what if you get hurt? Maybe you do or maybe you don't. But here's what I think- let it go and find better things to do with your mind. Love, my friend, is a terrible thing to waste.
always, mm
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