someone told...

For over a year now- I've been fortunate enough to share a part of my life with you thanks to this blog. Outlets are overwhelmingly therapeutic whether they're creative ones, a shoulder to cry on, or a sympathetic ear because let's face it- in one way or another- we all need to be heard. As many (well, okay 17) of you know- I always end my little anecdotes with a "do tell" and much to my surprise someone did tell and not only that- they need advice. And you know me- glad to be of assistance! And you...do you have any burning questions on improving your lifestyle, making healthy changes, or feeling stuck these days? Do tell...at modernmalama@gmail.com


dear modern malama,

I've decided to leave my job (seriously, I resigned on Monday) and wonder what my next move is? With 2 young kids, I struggle with wanting to be there for them, but also knowing I need the outlet of a job to keep me sane. How do working mothers do it? How do you balance the responsibilities of being a mother, wife, while also keeping your identity as your own person? Signed, Wanting it all


dearest wanting it all, 


Ahhhh, that tricky thing we call balance. As women (the natural multi-taskers) we're accustomed to being many things to many different people. Where it gets oh so sticky is when we want to excel at the office, bake homemade chocolate chip cookies with our kids, and muster the energy to show affection to our husbands. But in the midst of taking care of everyone else's boo-boo's, deadlines, and libido's- it's no wonder you wonder about what's next. Truthfully, when was the last time you put yourself first? Maintaining your own identity is a very personal journey that only you know the answers to. Aside from  family and a fat bonus at work - what makes YOU happy? Working out, cooking in the nude (hey, people are strange!), fly fishing? Whatever it is...write it down. Notice the energy shift in your body when you focus on things YOU like to do and by God woman- DO THEM!! And do it knowing that imbalance comes when we, the natural multi-taskers, don't factor our needs into the equation. And yes- this may mean the occasional Betty Crocker cake mix, less time watching American Idol, and more time investing energy into the things that invigorate you-both personally and professionally. And don't be surprised at how fabulous you feel when you finally put yourself first...at last!! 


all my love, MM