there's no place like home...(click, click, click)

When I lived amidst the misery and cold of the east coast, I often fantasized about warm weather living. Convinced I had seasonal affect disorder- I'd blame my foul disposition on dirty, slushy snow and my less than attractive figure on a severe case of hibernation. Finally fed up with dreading winters and rationalizing that bulky sweaters and mittens were indeed, sexy- my family and I pulled the trigger and moved to Hawaii. For the past four years, I've yet to detest the months of November through April and haven't purchased anything heavier than a t-shirt since 2006. Any given day is a day at the beach and thanks to this stint in paradise- I unfortunately, may have lost any and all rights to bitch and moan about anything.

But truthfully, as we all know- not everything is what it seems. Sunshine and gorgeous blue skies don't necessarily equate to pleasant dispositions and syrupy sweet friendliness. In fact, I've met quite a few miserable curmudgeons who've made me question whether the weather has anything to do with happiness or is it simply just a state of mind? After taking a stab at this island locale- I've come to realize that certain things never get old like the sound of crashing waves and warm tropical tradewinds. However, for someone who's accustomed to changing seasons, the fast pace of the city, and speed walking just to use the restroom- I must admit, the constant constants of island living can get pretty stale. And while the lush landscape certainly helps to brighten the mood- there is no guarantee that happiness is just somewhere over the rainbow. And you...where's your happy place? Do tell...

deny...deny...deny!!

Last night, I devoured an entire bowl of spaghetti with seafood drenched in garlic oil for my brother-in-laws birthday dinner and I must admit- I felt undeniably content yet obscenely bloated. It finally occurred to me that this was the kind of self denial I'd seen posted all over Facebook earlier in the day. I saw everything from giving up on chocolate to refuting negative self talk and decided, "How bad could it be?" As usual, I was fashionably late for the start of the Lenten season but clearly willing, or at least, thinking about making the sacrifice. So, I sat at my desk and devised a short list of things I simply can't do without. In no particular order since they all rank the same, my list looked like this: coffee, vodka, Bravo TV, and pasta. There was a time in my 20's when cutting carbs would've been the equivalent to nixing caffeine and alcohol in my mid 30's but that's just ridiculous! So, I officially bid adieu to the likes of penne and ziti...today, on day 39.

Evidently, I'm no angel. You know, being late for Lent and all. But, I did owe it to myself to delve a little deeper into the benefits of self denial. Obviously, a month without pasta would flaunt the effects of less belly bulging and visible cellulite- but I wondered...how and when would I begin to see the spiritual repercussions? This fast/sacrifice/temporary loss of sanity wasn't just about being pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale, right?  Wasn't this about giving back and letting go of what we over indulge in? If that's the case- then along with heaping plates of linguini, I'm throwing in excuse making and procrastination and having them all take a nice, long hike. Well, at least one that lasts 39 days, that is. And you- what are you giving up? Do tell...

this post is dedicated to our kuya Romey! Happy forty...ooops, I meant thirty something!!! Aloha.

en garde...

I don't mind the occasional garden variety rumor, some of which happens to be true but mostly, for entertainment purposes only. Like when Bennifer imploded and Manniston bit the dust- reports of their super star love affair gone awry hit newstands before they could even comment with a, "no comment." And as sad as it is to see poor Jen (Aniston not Lopez) single, yet again...I suppose that's just how the celebrity cookie crumbles. Recently, as the target of speculation and innuendo, I couldn't help but to empathize with the Brangelina's of the world. (without the money or fame, of course). Thanks to a little creative embellishment, I was unexpectedly fodder for versions of the truth and blatant lies that swirled dizzily throughout the coconut wireless which FYI-  is the island equivalent to the mainland grapevine. To put things in perspective, my husband's philosophical response to rumors is, "At least we're relevant enough to talk about." And yes- while that is true, I can't help but feel a much more emphatic, "WTF?!" kind of response.

After a few deep breaths and a couple glasses of Cabernet, clarity began to set in about people who ignore the truth. While spinning webs about the rest of us, I'm sure even the most prudent of gossipers clearly have issues with honesty in their own lives. Sadly, anyone who takes a remote interest in my simple life or enthusiastically asks 3 or more questions at any given time- is automatically demoted to the "do not tell" list. Nowadays, I have little desire to expand on my rolodex of friends but I can always assure this, you can count on me to tell you like it is...and that's no lie. And you, do you keep it real? Do tell...

6 degrees

Thanks to modern technology, I'm able to stay close to loved ones despite a massive ocean, a five hour time difference, and a 4 year sabbatical from the east coast. Social networking, Skype, and PDA's have replaced the need for any sort of personal, intimate interactions and has enabled us to dodge the proverbial uncomfortableness associated with defriending or dissing someone to their face. And even in a virtual world- true emotion is a possibility. I've had heart to hearts via the web, shared coming of age stories with my blog, and even managed to text words of wisdom in the middle of a teenage crisis. Staying connected no longer requires hours of coffee talk and golf outings in order to get better acquainted.  And communicating isn't necessarily about being present but simply a matter of logging on.

According to Google Analytics, my blog numbers are up. Apparently, my cousins and unsuspecting strangers aren't the only ones who find me amusing. I've received random comments, emails, FB posts, and a VERY sweet text message from my husband complimenting my photo and yeah...the blog was good too, he said. It's amazing how far a message can travel, how deep a voice can be heard, and how lucky a girl like me is to know someone like you....even if it is only technologically speaking, that is. Well, anyhow- enough about me. And you...who are you? Seriously, do tell...

PS: no need for anything poetic or witty...and don't go editing your response either. It's just me.

it's elementary, my dear...

I'm not sure if I've become a little more grounded over the years or people around me have just gotten a lot more crazy. What I do know however, is that instead of craving constant turmoil and a need to over complicate things- I've grown to appreciate a simple life. But, quite frankly, living on island will do that to you. Its forced us to stop and smell the plumeria and unlike Manhattan, Honolulu is definitely a city that sleeps at approximately 5:15pm. And though I live downtown surrounded by fire trucks, buses, and LGBT protests at the State Capitol, I don't mind the noise considering how frenetic my life used to be. There was a time when I thrived off of high levels of stress and enjoyed barking harsh (yet obvious) judgments on everything and everybody. I'd be the last person to get in touch with nature and truly dreaded the effort of becoming physically fit. My mind was filled with appointments, family squabbles, vendetta's, and making snap decisions. So really- who has time to stop and smell anything? Sadly, I spent the last 3 decades trapped in my own world instead of enjoying the one out there.

Don't worry- I haven't turned into a tree hugging vegan or become an ordained minister. I still enjoy critiquing bad fashion choices and mocking silly people and their silly games. And although the landscape has changed dramatically thanks to palm trees and perfect weather- what's actually changed the most is, me. I no longer welcome drama with open arms (though, I will give it an occasional hug) and in lieu of making things complicated, I simply roll with it. And you... what world do you live in? Do tell...

expect the expected...

In our youth, we can't help but to dream big. For as long as I can remember- I've always wanted to be on TV whether it was through acting, writing, or reporting the evening news. In my early teens I took a stab at stardom and enrolled in the Barbizon School of Modeling, had professional headshots taken, and even auditioned for plays despite being tone deaf and not much of an actress. To this day, I'm not sure that I'd ever be deemed talented but I do know one thing... I've got balls. I'm not easily deterred by what I can't accomplish but like most, my downfall involves a huge case of doubt and a serious lack of motivation. Once prancing on the catwalk got too difficult or singing, "Hopelessly devoted to you" became embarrassing- my hopes for fame were quickly dashed and tucked away with other unfavorable memories like my fuchsia leg warmers and lime green stretchy pants. My penchant for starting things I could never finish would ultimately lead to the safety of a 9-5 job and a modest lifestyle. (yay- just what I wanted!!)

But deep inside, I must admit- I still dream of my big break. And thanks to years of avoiding my passion and intentionally veering off course- I realized that if I really want something (ie: a Bentley, a hosting gig on E!, and a feature on Cribs) I need to get steppin'. My days of dreaming are numbered and since gravity doesn't discriminate...it's time to make some moves and go for what's mine. And so what if everything doesn't go according to plan? (who needs a Bentley, anyway) At least I know I did all that I could - what else did I expect? And you...what are your great expectations? Do tell...

happy monday! (insert sarcasm)

Inspiration is everywhere. Most of the time, I stumble upon it when I'm not paying attention. My recent blog entries have all been a result of random conversations, FB status updates, and stalker-esque observations. When you do what you love- the world seems to be a much more fascinating place. Below is a list of questions I pulled from another blogsite: http://www.marcandangel.com/. All I'm saying is...just think about it.

1. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
2. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?
3. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
4. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
5. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
6. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
7. Do you feel like you've lived this day a hundred times before?
8. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
9. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
10. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
11. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

HAPPY MONDAY (insert sincerity)