growing pains...

Whenever relationships in my life go awry I can't help but think about my childhood best friend. And coincidentally whenever relationships in my daughter's life takes a turn- I am demonically compelled to share this story, yet again, for the seventeen thousandth time. Basically it goes a little something like this: the year was 1987; I had a BFF that I was gonna KIT with 4eva and eva; we planned on having a dual garden wedding (obviously married to brothers), live in the same neighborhood, and star in the Asian version of the Golden Girls. Life was perfect...she was the Betty White to my Bea Arthur and we were going to live happily ever after. Until the day she decided to move on without so much as a phone call or an explanation. Like most pubescent 14 year olds- not only was I hormonal but devastatingly heart broken.

Relationships are funny that way- nobody expects an expiration date unless of course, things start to smell a little fishy. As a teenager- you could've graffitied the writing on the wall in neon spray paint and bubble letters and I still would've been clueless about our doomed friendship. But now at 37- I know a connection when I feel one and am positive when I don't. In life, some relationships will go south while others flourish. You may be completely misunderstood by one and then appear crystal clear to another. And though we may not want to admit it- all things (yes, ALL) will come to its inevitable end. But if time has taught me anything- it's to celebrate what I have and cherish what I had. Because let's face it- without a little humility...how grown up are we? do tell...

bits and pieces...

Whenever anyone asks whether I miss Hawaii- my immediate response is a very casual, "not really." Fully expecting a "why the hell not or WTF is wrong with you?" I quickly launch into a laundry list of reasons for leaving one of the most beautiful places on earth. Typically- family, boredom and distance top the pile of excuses which to me, make perfect sense. But being that it's now the dead of January- with temps hovering in the teens, snuggled beneath comforters, cashmere socks, and flannel PJ's- I do find myself wondering, "WTF is wrong with you?"

And while I stand behind my decision to forgo 365 days of sunshine- what I've come to realize is that perhaps I suffer from a case of selective memory. Just like when my husband says I hear what I want...I guess you could say, my recollection is just as finicky. I mean, it's not as if seasonal affect disorder or sarcasm and a condescending tone are anything new. They're merely survival tools for east coast living- that I recall (vividly). And though Honolulu is becoming a distant memory- I'll never forget how far a smile and a disposable cooler could take you. At the end of the day- don't we all see, hear, and feel what we want...even when the memories are kind of fuzzy? do tell...

for all we know....

With the new decade upon us- I can't help but reflect on the last 10 years of my life. Going from 27 to 37 I've learned, has not only sharpened my hawk-like instincts but has also made me much more self aware and oh so wise to the ways of the world. Although, on the flip side, I must say- time has also been somewhat of a mean, cruel, practical joker. With the advent of visible crows feet, a pinch more cynicism, and longing for my PJ's and a Lifetime movie on a Saturday night (Craigslist Killer, anyone?!)- I'm totally feeling the wiser but seriously...does OLDER really need to be par for the course?

But I guess in relative terms- young is to naive; as old is to being enlightened. And though I miss the Pollyanna optimism of my 20's- I must admit- knowing exactly who I am, what truly matters, and who absolutely counts is an invaluable lesson that only time will tell. And while many things in life have succumbed to alterations like facial elasticity and multiple changes of address- I guess the only thing I know for certain is that the next 10 years should be a helluva good time!! And you...what does your future hold? do tell...